Tuesday, January 29, 2019

I Still Miss You...

"...Who have placed the sand as the bound of the sea, By a perpetual decree, that it cannot pass beyond it? And though its waves toss to and fro, Yet they cannot prevail; Though they roar, yet they cannot pass over it." Jeremiah 5:22

 How could I get it wrong this year? The anniversary of your passing was not the 22nd...its today, the 29th! I guess that I was trying so hard to get through this month that I was thinking of your October birth date...but no it's today, 17 years. Has it really been that long ago that I actually saw you with my eyes, or heard your voice? Time truly flies and you know what? I still miss you. The raw pain has gone, the feelings of being lost, aimless and empty are gone too. Can't remember exactly when they went, but God (Yah) in His infinite compassion and wisdom helped me to gradually "lose" them and fill the void with HIS love. I still remember our times together, the good and the not so good, all of it making us... "US" and I am so grateful. The times that we laughed at something silly, but it was only funny because we were together and that made it joy. I still remember our serious conversations about our lives, our plans...and I also remember our silly debates over who was the strongest, Batman or Superman...I know, I know pretty stupid, but we had a good debate didn't we? I still say that I won...or did you LET me win,as you used to say? 😊

I have learned so much about myself, I think you would be very proud of me. You always encouraged me to aspire in all I do. Since you've gone, the journey has not been easy, but as I have trusted in God (Yah) it has been fruitful. Walking this journey has given me strength and peace that I thought I could never have. My compassion for people has grown and I really know the importance of loving others as I am learning to love myself. Didn't Yeshua (Jesus) say that... “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ Matthew 22:37-39

 When you left this world I thought that grief would over take me. I am so thankful that just as God (Yah) in His power holds back the sea and commands its boundary, HE did the same for me. He would not let the stormy waves overtake me as I trusted in HIM. Though I felt at times lost at sea and tossed to and fro, HE stood on the shore beckoning me and showing me the way to safety...to HIM.

To those that the grief is still fresh and raw, I encourage you to hold on to HIM, to God (Yah), He will see you through to safety. You are not alone, and you WILL make it through as you hold on to HIS Hand.

17 years is a long time, but I miss you still. My high school sweetheart, the love of my life, my protector, my defender, my earthly provider, my best-est friend. Gone but NEVER forgotten. Thank you my husband for the prayers that you prayed for me, God (Yah) is still answering them each and everyday. I love you and always will.

Thursday, January 24, 2019

The 'Lost" Pillow

“Or what woman, having ten silver coins, if she loses one coin, does not light a lamp, sweep the house, and search carefully until she finds it? And when she has found it, she calls her friends and neighbors together, saying, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found the piece which I lost!’ Likewise, I say to you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God (Yah) over one sinner who repents.” Luke 15:8-10 Yeshua HaMachiach (Jesus the Messiah)

Y'all know how I love pillows, have lots of them, so when I discovered this morning that one of them was missing from the front porch...I hollered (it was a soft holler) lol Anyway, I just came back out of the rain and wind tracking it down...that's right! You didn't think I was going to sit by and let all this rain and wind steal my precious outdoor pillow that I got off the summer-end clearance at Walmart did ya? Why no NO! That pillow probably doesn't mean a plugged nickel to anyone else but it sure does to me! I have high hopes for that pillow, it has a matching one just waiting for it to perch on the front porch and look pretty. I have plans for that pillow! lol

In all seriousness though, that pillow meant so much to me that I went right out there this morning in that rain and high winds to "rescue" it...why..because it was special to ME! When I came back into the house, wet and windswept,my dogs looking at me like I was a crazy woman, the parables that Yeshua (Jesus) told about the Lost sheep, the Lost coin and then the Lost son in the book of Luke, came to life to me. If a stupid pillow can mean so much to me that I was willing to go out in the bad weather to search for and rescue it...how much more does HE loves and want us and is willing to go to all extents to rescue us!

He has shown us through the life, death and resurrection of His Son, Yeshua just to what extent He will go to rescue us. How much do you mean to Him? How important is your life in His eyes, How special are you to Him? Turn your eyes to the price that He was willing to pay so that you could be rescued. There is no other Elohim (god) that has done what He has done for you and me. When I found my "lost" pillow this morning it was a block away from my house, drenching wet and pitiful looking, but that did not matter to me. I was just happy because I had found it! The cleaning up would come later.

 So it is with you...let Him FIND you, come as you are and then let Him clean you up...He can do that if you let Him..You may feel that no one else values you, but He sure does. You may feel that you have gone too far for Him to reach you, but His arms extend farther than you can imagine...He has great plans for you. For when you are found there will be great rejoicing!!!!!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

Sunday, December 23, 2018

Wonderful! Counselor! Mighty God! Everlasting Father! Prince of PEACE! He is all of those and so much more! Thinking this morning of how God has been so faithful to me. Usually at year's end, people take inventory of how the year went and most of us can recount the days of good and pleasantries as well as the days that were not so good and we barely made it through.

When I watch all the hustle and bustle of this season, people shopping like crazy trying to get that perfect gift for someone, crowding all the stores sometimes pushing and shoving, short patience, rudeness, lack of consideration, children having meltdowns in the aisles, the elderly and disabled trying to navigate the crowds that seemingly have no compassion, the couples with worn down regard for each other arguing openly in the lines at the register, the unattended child sitting in the shopping cart as the parent unaware of lurking danger scavenges for that special gift... can you tell I "people watch" quite a bit?

 Though as I watch I pray, pray because I have asked God to not let me miss one opportunity to discern; to discern that underneath all the hustle and bustle of folks trying to make this season a dream come true, they are missing what is really important. What is important is that Jesus (Yeshua) came to be our Counselor, the One whom we can go to and pour our hearts out for anything and everything and He will patiently hear and direct us. He came to be Our Mighty God, the awesome One who fights our battles, is our Defender, Encourager, Provider, the One we can run to in our time of need. He is our Everlasting Father, Who loves us like no other, Who will never leave nor forsake us...and He is our Prince of Peace. Peace that desires to rest in our homes, on our jobs, in our relationships and most importantly in our hearts.

When you look back over your year, I hope that you will be able to recall the times that you called on Him to be your Counselor, your Mighty God, Everlasting Father and Prince of Peace...or maybe it was a year that you tried to do to all yourself...how did that work out for ya? Maybe not so good huh?

Be reminded today to take time in all your hustle and bustle and reflect on how you can make this life that was gifted to you so much better, for you and the ones that you love. Call on Him, not just when it is a desperate situation,but each and every day. To have any real good relationship, you have to spend time with that person, in order to get to really know them; in order to get to know our Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father and the Prince of Peace, we have to spend some time with Him. I pray that you will have Peace in your homes and in your hearts...to KNOW Him is the greatest gift of all !

Sunday, December 16, 2018

Sing a New Song...

Psalms 96 says: Oh, sing to the Lord a new song! Sing to the Lord, all the earth. Sing to the Lord, bless His name; Proclaim the good news of His salvation from day to day. Declare His glory among the nations, His wonders among all peoples.

 You may say "Well I don't have a singing voice." OR "Guess what, I don't feel like singing right now." Well, that may be true, but think on this...some of the most powerful, memorable and life changing songs have been written out of the most tragic situations. Popular "love" songs, gospel songs, country songs and really many genres of music have been written through and from tragedy, heart break and life's trials...and yet THOSE are the songs that though they sometimes may bring tears, when we've listened we feel encouraged afterwards. Some of the most soul moving songs (Negro spirituals) were written during the times of slavery in this country by the slaves or former slaves themselves and yet they give hope! How can this be?

God has given each of us the ability to express ourselves and whether we can "carry a tune" or not, we can give Him praise. I've seen the deaf sign a song and the effect on the audience was the same as if the person had the voice of Pavarotti. The familiar song "Amazing Grace" , no matter how many times you hear it or what language it is vocalized in, it still brings tears of joy and hope to those that hear it. It is an old song yes...but it is "new" each time we sing it with a heart of gratitude to the One that extends His Amazing Grace to us.

So today, what ever you may be going through, sing a "new" song to Him. Your voice may be scratchy and you may not be able to reach each note, but if it is coming from your heart, trust me, God understands every word and delights in each note that is offered to Him in gratitude. He is your audience of One and your platform is your faith that He hears you, whether you sing out loud or from your heart.

Monday, December 10, 2018

This is the Day!

Glorious Monday Everyone! What a way to start the day with your home alarm system going off! Well it was my fault actually...forgot to turn it off BEFORE I let the dogs out to do their business...that'll do it for sure...wake you up real fast 😁 ! However since I don't move quite as fast as I once did , I apparently didn't get to it quick enough to stop the process of setting things in motion. PLUS my landline phone was down (thanks a lot Comcast) so when the alarm company called to verify, the call went straight to voice mail. I can't make this stuff up.

 Needless to say it was an embarrassing time of standing out on the front porch in all my morning regalia (rollers in hair, mix matched pajamas and robe, bare feet) with my royal court of 2 Chihuahuas barking and snarling in the window)while I explained to the very nice police officers about how I didn't get to the alarm in time to shut it off. I apologized that I hope I did not spoil their day...I hope they knew I meant by making them come to a false alarm and not by having to gaze at my rather disheveled and scary appearance LOL! 🤡 So that is what started my day...but after that "event" I noticed the beautiful cloudless blue sky and thought "What a lovely day." The beauty in the day has nothing to do with me, but all in the fact that God made it and has allowed me to have a part in it! So lesson learned: Remember to turn the alarm off BEFORE you put the dogs out, even if they are dancing for release...

 Too bad it wasn't this easy to bounce back a couple of weeks ago when my Carbon Monoxide alarm went off (and continued after replacing batteries) and AFTER the arrival of 2 firetrucks, an ambulance, a police car and about 10 workers showed up...all because I needed to replace my old Carbon monoxide alarms...talk about embarrassing...it took me a couple of days to work through that...BUT that's another story for another time! Have a wonderful day y'all!

Wednesday, November 21, 2018

Be kind...

"...And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God [Yah] in Christ [Yeshua] forgave you." Ephesians 4:32

 Who would have thought that a quick trip to a home improvement store to do a return, would be a life lesson for me? But then I tend to see "lessons" in a lot of things that others may deem silly or nonsensical...I'm just built that way I guess 😜

 I entered the building and an obvious employee is just standing there leaning against a wall, so I say to him in a cheerful voice "Hi! How are you, on break?" and I don't know if it was my goofy smile or my perfume but he immediately tensed up and got annoyed and said in a gruff voice "No, I'm JUST standing here!" Well no one had to tell me to turn my head, look and move forward without another word. What a greeting! Sheesh!

 Okay then I go to the Customer service desk, you know the desk where you get help...that's so funny in most cases nowadays. Anyway I stand there for a couple of minutes before an employee CHOOSES to see me, the person then turns their head back around then...was that a beckoning hand telling me to come over or was she just rotating her wrist to get a kink out? It was like I was the last person on earth that she wanted to see and I was really messing up her day. Once again a very unhappy person as she constantly looks at her watch as I am explaining why I am returning the item. What caused me to ask her if she was okay, was when she sighed and made a face like she was in pain. Now I know that I can be a pain sometimes, but really? I'd only been standing there for a minute, 3 minutes if you count the 2 I had to wait until you decided to call me over like I was a toddler waiting my turn to go potty. She clearly was letting me know that she did not want to hear nor take care of my problem. By now I am steaming inside right?

 Now here's the funny part...I remembered a little towel that I have hanging in my upstairs bathroom, one that I had found on a clearance table in a store I can't even recall...it says simply "Be Kind"...Now I would have LOVED to have had that towel to use to pop up side the 2 very UNKIND people that I'd just experienced in that store... but on second thought...that message was for ME ! I put that towel there to remind me everyday how important it is to "Be kind" so...I guess seeing it everyday, several times a day, it was engraved in my head AND it was the Holy Spirit doing His job.😊 So my response to those people was kindness, didn't feel it at first but in a split second, I understood that it is not about me, but about what or rather WHO I represent. It's not about being phony, but realizing that sometimes the feeling doesn't come until you begin to do it by faith. God honored my faith and I was able to treat them as I would have liked to have been treated, I was kind.

 Just a reminder for those that will be out and about this season, a season when people seem to have less patience and rudeness is in rare form...be kind. I know that there are folks out there that can be very awful, but even though it may be hard, try to remember that God has forgiven us of so many things and has seen us in our ugliest state and yet...He forgives and loves us still...so...be kind.

Tuesday, November 6, 2018

No more labor...

"Labor" means work...and it doesn't always have to be physical work you know...it could be your mind! I have the tendency to do just that...overwork my mind. Thinking, thinking...trying to resolve things in my mind over and over, trying to think ahead, trying to understand things that are unreasonable, trying to figure out why folks do what they do, thinking, thinking...until sometimes I am pooped! I'm sure I'm not the only one guilty of that...

 My point is this...I am slowly learning that all that over time that we put in does not do us any good. When you do over time on a physical job at least you get extra pay...but when we over work our minds all we end up getting is extra headache, stress, anxiety and even anger. It's not good...at all. 

There are many scriptures about how we are not suppose to be anxious or worry, but one of my favorites is this: "Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?" (Matthew 6:27 NLT) Now that is TRUTH right there, in fact, worrying, over thinking, stress and anxiety can be a hazard to your health. Dutch author and speaker Corrie ten Boom once said "Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength." How true!

 So today if you are over working your mind, thinking about things that you can do absolutely nothing about, or about things that have not happened, or about things that get you upset inside and out...Let...It...GO... Let's stop laboring in our minds and with God's help learn to rest in Him. It may take some time to get into the habit, the thoughts will come, but each time, even if it is hundred times a day, gather them all up and give them to Him. Be at peace my friends.

Friday, October 26, 2018

Stop the Nonsense!

Sad to say...the way I see how some of these "ministries" are going, there is cause for alarm. I usually don't post on subjects like politics and "religion" because I know that it can get some people's goat a'goin' and this forum is not for debating purposes I believe and I don't have the time, so I usually stick to MY experiences...sort of safe that way :-D So consider this post to be about MY experience ok?

 It grieves me deeply to see how some ministries have turned from their Biblical purpose and instead have made it into a Business. They appear to have the same organizational setup as the successful "pyramid" type businesses that are so popular.

 To me...it appears to be all about success being accomplished by the number of attendees, the size of the buildings, and the entertainment atmosphere created during the worship. Some go as far as to have personal stylists for their leaders, thinking they should be fashion conscience and trendy in order to "relate" to the people. God help us! Before I go on, let me make this clear...I am not bitter...I am not writing this with "church hurt". I am healed, I am whole, but I am TICKED at what I see going on in some so called churches and ministries. I just read where one "ministry" was having an event to honor their leader and the leader commented to a "celebrity" attendee that "This event is suppose to be about ME, you're not suppose to be looking better than I do." This may have been said in jest, but has it really gotten that far? When did looks start to matter instead of the example you set for the people?

At this point I believe that it is out of control and will take a mighty move of God on the hearts of man to turn this tom foolery around. But man has to first be WILLING to change. Micah 6:8 says we are to "do justice, love kindness and WALK HUMBLY.." before God. To do what is RIGHT in the sight of God according to His Word, to be KIND instead of just going about the Business of ministry and to be HUMBLE instead of haughty and prideful. THAT is what is good before our God... That is what is good for the people that are desperately searching for the Truth and the Love of God here on the earth.

 I don't consider this a rant, but a cry from my heart for us to get it right. It is time to put away the nonsense, repent from the prideful, deceitful, competitive spirits that are controlling and turn to God the author and finisher of our True faith. He will lead us into ALL Truth, He will show us the error of our ways, He alone is to be worshipped, not man...

Father God, I come to you this morning with a heavy heart for what I see going on in the church world, we have become followers of man instead of followers of You. Help the leaders to see this error and to turn away from allowing the sheep to follow them instead of leading them to You! Expose the evil, reveal the pride and sin, wash us clean so that we can be about YOUR calling and purpose instead of our own personal agendas! Forgive us, cleanse us from unrighteousness and in your mercy give us another opportunity to get this right in Your eyes! Help us to "see" with Your eyes and to feel with Your heart and to put aside our wicked ways...help us before it is too late...

Tuesday, October 23, 2018

Heavenly birthday...

Every year I say I'm not going to post on my late husband's birthday, October 22nd. I mean folks are probably tired of hearing my tribute...but then I remember that we should "give honor to whom honor is due" and though he has been gone for almost 17 years, his life has had such an impact on me that it seems sometimes that he was just here not that long ago.

 My husband was a quiet, humble man, with a dry sense of humor that always made me laugh out loud when he on occasion made a really funny remark. I think that is what made the remarks so funny, because they came so rarely and it was done with a serious face. 😊

 After receiving Jesus as His Lord and Savior, he became a man that loved God first, me and his family even more with a passion that increased with each day of his life. He was a teacher of men and did it every opportunity he got. He was a "Fisher of men" whether it was taking the men from his job on a deep sea fishing trip or hosting up to 20 men for breakfast and always sharing with them the Good News of salvation.

 When he passed I felt as if it was too soon, that he had so much more to accomplish, but...now when I look at our son, hear his voice with the same deep bass tone...when I hear him speak of his passion to reach people with the love of God, when I hear our son pray with even more fervor for the needs of others, when I see how our son loves his wife and his children...I am reminded of my husband and I say silently and in my heart "You did it honey, with God's help, you accomplished what He had for you here...the legacy goes on."

Sunday, October 14, 2018

Sunday afternoon thoughts...

Afternoon coffee (decaf as always) on the back porch...

 "Bless the Lord, O my soul; And all that is within me, bless His holy name! Bless the Lord, O my soul, And forget not all His benefits..." Psalms 103:1-2

 GRATEFUL = A. appreciative of benefits received B : expressing gratitude (Merriam-Webster dictionary)

 I am truly grateful how the Lord has kept me all these years. I would have given up a very long time ago, but He has been so faithful to keep me going forward.

 I remember reading a book by a widow many years ago and the most important thing that she could have written were these simple words "You will not always feel this way." The words leaped off the page and into my heavy heart and I could almost feel it becoming lighter.

 The grieving process is a long journey, but the important thing is that somehow, some way... God gradually exchanges the bruised and broken heart for a newer stronger one.

 You will never be the same after a loss, whether it be through death, divorce, loss of a relationship or even a good job, BUT if you allow God to escort you through the process, you will come out better, wiser, stronger.

 When the wounds of brokenness are fresh, it is so hard to believe that you will feel any other way; but just as it is with a fresh wound on your body, the pain can be unbearable for a time, but gradually the healing comes and one day there is a scab, then the scab falls off. A scar may remain , but it is only a reminder of what was...you remember the pain but it is no longer physically there.

 We will always remember our losses...but the choice is ours...will we allow our losses to keep us from going forward, or will we be GRATEFUL for having come through the pain, the fire, the brokenness in to a new day to celebrate God's faithfulness? The choice is ours.

Sunday, October 7, 2018

Breaking up the Fallow Ground...

“Break up your fallow ground, And do not sow among thorns..." Jeremiah 4:3

 Fallow ground, for those "city" folks that may not know much about farming or gardening, is ground that has been left untilled, unplowed or as the dictionary states, dormant or inactive. Such was the case of the little raised garden bed that my son and grandson built over the summer. The project was sincere and exciting, but between the summer heat, and the busy-ness of life, finishing the summer planting got put on the bottom of the list.

 We started off with a bang; had a meeting with an expert home gardener (thanks Geannine) bought the suggested books, resources and materials. We even added extra protection against the moles, voles and groundhogs; but our energy seemed to fizzle as the season went on and the summer planting season was soon over.

 Every time I would look out the back door to the garden with its one Blackberry bush that my son did manage to plant, I knew that I had to get out there, even though the planting season for the vegetables that we wanted to grow was over, I had to breathe some life into what seemed a failed project. But...before I could plant anything, I saw that the ground, that had sat for so long with no activity or use, had to be tilled and raked. The process was a tedious one, making sure the clumps were broken up, the dead leaves and debris were removed and making the soil pliable for planting took time and energy; but was so worth while after seeing the end results.

 While "breaking up the fallow ground" I was reminded of what the prophet Jeremiah said to the nation of Israel. He was conveying a message from God to them that they could always return to Him (God) but they must first put away their abominations and sins. Sins that had become such a part of them that they must deeply search their hearts and repent.

Speaking personally, I have to take inventory time to time, because sometimes it is so easy to become "comfortable" doing and saying things that at one time you knew that it was not pleasing to God. That is when our lives... our hearts have developed "fallow ground." Those sins have been allowed to sit in our hearts for so long that we really have to ask the Holy Spirit to stir us up and search us so that we can become not only aware but repentant. It takes time but the clumps of stubbornness and willfulness must be broken up, the debris of sins must be removed so that God can plant newness in our hearts so that He can use us for His Glory.

 Fallow ground is 1) Unused and 2) Un-usable. The ground becomes fallow because it has been unused , left in its state and if it remains that way, it is un-usable...useless. We can't let that happen to us. Submit to allow God's Holy Spirit to search our hearts and do the work so that we can have a fresh start for a new season of HIS planting into our lives!

Peace, Peace, wonderful Peace...

PEACE...something that everyone is seeking, something that you can not tangibly hold in your hand and yet... many have fought wars, lost lives and some have chosen to give up and have taken their own lives because of its absence.

 Where do we get this precious sought after gift? Certainly not from man... Some of my most loneliest and un-peaceful times can be when I am surrounded by people, good people...and then some of my most peaceful, comforting times have been when I am alone and in the presence of God's Holy Spirit. Having inner peace is not dependent upon the presence of man, but totally on the presence of God.

 King David knew that having peace is a treasured commodity when he wrote this in Psalms 51:10-11 "Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me away from Your presence, And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me." He knew that God's presence brought Peace and he did not want to lose that.

 Have you lost your peace today? Do you feel empty, lost and restless? It's an awful feeling...been there, done that, contributed to the movie AND bought Tee SHIRTS ! We all have those times...BUT we can not stay there!

 Make a determination today, no please do it NOW, that you WILL get things right with God. Confess your sins, your hurts, whatever is troubling you, make it clear, make it plain. God knows it anyway, but I believe it is good to hear yourself say it out loud (works for me); and King David found that it worked for him too. :-)

 Peace, peace wonderful peace is yours for the asking. Don't live a moment longer tormented, but willingly submit to God who IS OUR PEACE