Wednesday, September 24, 2008

My Help

Surely God is my help; the Lord is the one who sustains me. Psalms 54:4

I really enjoy my drive to work, most mornings that is. I put on my worship music and enjoy my 20 minute ride through the country side. On occasions I do have to dodge the driver that dangerously weaves in and out of traffic or the elderly person that gets in front of you and drives abut 10 miles and hour, but most times I have a peaceful drive in. This morning I enjoyed the beginnings of the autumn season. Fields that once were brimming with green corn stalks are now turning to brown. Fields of green produce are now turning to shades of gold. Flocks and flocks of geese trying desperately to make their V formation. I don’t know if they are actually flying south this early or rehearsing for the real thing. I say this because I notice that a few of the geese are having a hard time getting in “line” behind the leader, it makes me laugh. Fall is in the air, you can sense it, and there is a definite change in the season. Even the summer flowers that bloomed profusely are now beginning to fade. It’s a gradual process, but change is coming.

I was thinking the other day how it has been almost 10 years since my late husband’s illness caused him to be admitted to the hospital for an extended amount of time. I remember coming home from Philadelphia and entering the house alone. For the first time in our married life I was alone in the house at night. We had gone mostly everywhere together and this was so foreign to me. I kneeled down by the couch and cried out to God in my fear and frustration. It was the first time in my life of being totally alone. With God’s help I was able to get through that season of my life. I would not want to repeat that scenario and yet as I look back now I can see God was with me all the time.
Through every fear, every disappointment and sadness, He was there, like the poem “Footprints” so beautifully describes how He not only walked beside me, but at times He carried me.

There is a woman in my office that after many years of marriage, she and her husband are experiencing a sort of “Second Honeymoon”. I listen to her everyday as she talks about how wonderful it is to be in love and how they are enjoying themselves as a couple at this season in their marriage. I must be honest, I listen and smile at the right times, I am truly happy for her, but when I am alone I mourn and ask God “How come…?” But I know that He is with me, He is my help and I will be fine.

I marvel at how He has brought me such a long way. The change was gradual, but it came never the less. As I remember back when I was weeping face down on that couch, wondering how I would make it, and all that followed afterwards; now I am amazed of His Love and patience with me, how He so lovingly is taking me through this journey. He alone is my help; He is the one that sustains me. He is the One that makes life worth living, and I give Him all the glory!

Hopefully, now I am a little stronger, a little wiser and understand the depth and endurance of His Love a little more.

Season after season God will help us and keep us as we look to Him.

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