Sunday, October 11, 2009

"The LORD All-Powerful will destroy the power of death and wipe away all tears..." Isaiah 25:8a

“Are you watching one of those crying movies again?” that was my late husband teasing me. He had walked in again and caught me sniffin’ and snottin’ while watching, what is called a“Chick flick”. I love old classic movies, the ones that move me to tears, either happy or sad. I mean you have to be made of stone if it did not move you to tears when Bette Davis in “Dark Victory” is being brave even though she knows she is losing her sight and soon to leave this earth. And what about her in “Mr. Skeffington” when she loses her beauty but the husband she had ridiculed and mocked their whole marriage is there to take her back just as she is. (sigh) That’s a 2 box of tissues movie.

My husband, knowing how I like these kinds of movies, even suggested one for me one time…go figure. He was home for a rare few days of R and R, and when I came in from work he said “There’s a movie coming on later that you might like.” Lo and behold it was Disney’s series remake of “Anne of Green Gables”. It was really a set up for more teasing because while we sat in the family room watching it together, out of the corner of my eye I could see him smiling when I went for the piece of paper towel in my pocket. “I knew it! I knew it!” he said. “I KNEW you couldn’t watch it with out crying!” Now THAT made me angry. “You mean you were waiting for me to cry?” I said wiping my eyes while watching Anne declare to Marilla and Matthew how she never had a family until they took her in. But my husband just chuckled at the fact that I could be so moved by a movie!

Now before you think that my husband was a cold, unfeeling man, he was not. He was sometimes quiet around others, a “deep” thinker, sometimes solemn and serious looking. But for those that really knew him, he had a fierce passion about certain issues. When the topic was about church unity, integrity and character, he was ablaze and spoke with earnest authority. We were total opposites, because I was a definite people person wanting everyone to be happy. But we balanced each other out so much. He taught me among many things how to be strong and a good decision maker and I’d like to believe I taught him about being... “fuzzy.” (smile)

Growing up in a 3 room house with 10 living children, having gone through the deaths of a mother in childbirth, 2 stepmothers, a father and then an older brother in Vietnam by the time he was 14 years old, was a lot to handle emotionally. If he was going to make it in this world, he knew he had to buck up and make it himself and that he did. There were no time for tears, no time to be fuzzy, to think about sad things. He had to survive.

So he thought it was so amusing when he would see me cry over something that was not even real…just a movie until…

One Christmas season we were both home on vacation. It was a cold night and we were in our favorite spots, him on the sofa with the big afghan and me on the love seat with an afghan. It was cozy in our family room with the fireplace on, sending out not only warmth but a nice glow to the room. We were looking at the TMC channel and one of his “manly” movies had just gone off, something about war, people fighting and stuff, absolutely of no interest to me. But then the announcer says "Next... “All Mine to Give”... a warm Christmas movie.” I knew what the movie was about, I had seen it before and it was my mom’s favorite. So I nonchalantly laid there on the couch hoping he would not ask me what the movie was about. He didn’t and we ended up watching this tale of a Scottish immigrant family with 10 children, the parents die, first the father in a logging accident, then the mother through illness and the children are left on their own with the mother making a last request of the oldest son before she dies, to make sure all of the children get a good home. With out giving away the entire story (in case you want to watch it) needless to say the story took you on an emotional roller coaster. Happy one minute, sad the next, I must have gone through an entire box of Kleenex, plus the sleeve of my robe, I know that's gross but, it is what it is.

As the movie was ending (I won’t give away the ending either), I realized I was so caught up on my own emotional roller coaster I had not even noticed how my husband was taking this “chick flick”. So I sheepishly turned my swollen red eyes over to him on the couch and guess what??? He was crying too! Tears were pooled, then running down his face and then tears were running again out of my eyes and before we could stop ourselves we started laughing and could not stop! It was darn right funny! Macho man… always teasing ME about being a cry baby over a movie, here he was …CRYING! We laughed until my sides were sore. And I did not have the heart to tease him, we just dried our eyes and enjoyed the rest of the evening…there’s was really no words to say.

Perhaps the movie reminded him if his own childhood, I don’t know. But it showed me that my husband could have his “fuzzy” moments too. Oh and by the way, he did not tease me about being a crybaby over movies after that. (smile)

Ever wonder why God gave us tears? Well they cleanse the eye and they relieve you emotionally. I’ve sure had my share of them, some happy and some very sad. But isn’t it good to know that one day God will wipe away all tears from our eyes. No matter what you may be going through right now, remember that God knows all about your tears, He is so touched by our feelings. Our tears do not go unnoticed by Him. And one day He will wipe them all away, no more sadness, and no more grief.


Tamera Alexander said...

Oh Veronica, how this blessed me! Thank you for sharing this glimpse into the relationship you and your husband shared. I so look forward to meeting him one day. Much love, friend.

Tamera Alexander said...

Oh, and any way you'd send me a pic of your precious new puppy? I'd love to post it on Writes of Passage blog next week. :)