Wednesday, February 4, 2015

He is with us...

"You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed." Psalms 139: 16

Recently I was having a conversation with one of my sisters about 5 o'clock in the morning at the kitchen table. We only get the opportunity to see each other physically about once a year, so we make every minute of our visits count. In this conversation about how God has worked in our lives, I told her my "conversion" story (probably for the umpteenth time);  how I remember being at a point in my life, where I knew I needed something more in life. It was many years ago, but I can still see it as plain as day in my sitting in front of the TV, late at night, my husband and son already upstairs in bed. The TV evangelist asking if anyone wanted Jesus to come into their hearts...make them new, and me bowing my head and praying along with him. When I prayed it was not just mumbling words to me, I really meant it, in fact I was desperate for change and I knew I could not do it myself.

As I shared with my sister, from the time that I said that prayer and for about a week or so afterwards, I felt as if someone was constantly following me.  Not a scary, fearful feeling, but a warm, precious, comforting presence.   Sometimes the feeling would be so strong, I would turn to see if someone was indeed standing there. I will never forget that, I did not understand it then, but now I know that it was the Lord letting me know that He was with me. That I would never be alone...

 God is always with us, whether we feel like it or not.  After all, He is everywhere, all the time, so it just makes sense that He's with us's a no brainer. :-)  He knew about us even before we took on a form in our mother's womb. He knew what color eyes we would have, hair, skin and even our personalities.  He knew our weaknesses , our strengths too. He knew the wrong choices that we would make, the mistakes...even the really, really bad ones. He knew how we needed love, kindness and nurturing. He knew that we would need a Redeemer, Someone to redeem and save us from our fallen, sinful nature.  He knew that even though we are inately aware of right and wrong, because of our sinful nature, we tend to lean to the wrong...He knew we needed Someone to be an example of Righteousness. He knew, before I was even formed that I would need Jesus...

I cannot say that I have always known without a doubt that He has been with me, but it does not change the fact that He has. But now when I think about it, there have been many times in His mercy when He has given me a glimpse of His omnipresence in my life: As a small child climbing up  and sitting in the chinaberry tree in my backyard in South Carolina, feeling the warm wind in my face...I somehow knew that it was Him. As a young woman being so distraught and wanting to take my life and yet in the middle of all the negative voices in my head, His still small voice saying "Be still". His presence "following" me right after I accepted Him into my heart and life.  A vision of four Angels surrounding me as I went in for major surgery.  His presence of peace as I traveled the journey of grief. His love like a blanket over me as I seek Him early in the morning. But even if I never experienced these times of actually feeling His presence, the fact is, He is with me, and He is with you.

There are not many people (if any) that can know everything about you and still love you. Maybe your mother, but even they don't know every single thing about you and they are limited in how to help us. Oh but there is One that knows us, truly knows every single detail, the good, the bad AND the UGLY!  And He still loves us and is limitless on ways to help us... how can we not surrender to such a One as He?

Father, I thank you for your presence, I thank you that you know all about me and yet you still love me. I thank you that there are times as I look back over my life I can see how you have ALWAYS been with me. Help me to see Your Hand in my life each day. To have the confidence that You are leading and guiding me through this imperfect world. Thank you for being with me before I was formed, even when I was a little girl in her cut off jeans sitting in a tree, and even now as a woman that has walked over some rough terrain on this journey but still holding strong because of YOU! Amen.


Anonymous said...

Thank you for writing again. I came today wanting to sit with a friend and hear how God lives in her life - and I did.

These days I am espcially seeking to know the reality of His presence more and more in my life, even moment by moment. I have been a follower of Jesus for a long time, decades, and yet there is always more of Him to know. Aren't you glad that is true?

Much love,

Veronica said...

Thanks Lily for stopping by. And yes I agree with you, there is ALWAYS more to learn about Jesus! May God continue to bless your life with more knowledge of Who He is and more importantly of who YOU are in HIM. Sending love and Hugs