His loving kindness and faithfulness...

This will be a different kind of post. One not so much about learning more about God through my everyday experiences; but more about reminding myself of what I already know about Him...

I don't know if it was the news of the recent passing of a longtime friend, or the beautiful memorial for another dear friend that went to be with the Lord several months ago...or maybe it is that Father's Day is approaching, but I am missing my late husband.  Maybe it is a combination of all three of these things, but at any rate it has all affected me with a sharp reality of my husband's absence from my life.  Many of you will understand what I mean.  Even though it has been over 13 years since he has passed and through God's comfort and healing of my soul, there are still times when there comes a sharp reality of the absence of a loved one that has passed.

I am not depressed, nor do I feel sorry for myself. I am just experiencing a grief moment as I process the sad news (local and the media) that I have been hearing over the past few days and even the wonderful news of a life remembered, but sorely missed, as I converse with a wife and a mother and feel with compassion their grief.

I am reminded of what Pastor A. has been teaching about the Holy Spirit (God's Spirit) and how He is grieved at times (Ephesians 4:30); He grieves out of love, not anger nor frustration.  How grief is not from loss, but love. So I don't grieve for my husband because I have lost him, I know exactly where he is and I will see him again someday. But this grief is out of love, love that the Lord blessed the two of us with and will last forever.  Come to think

of it...love never goes away...yes even though that person has been gone from my presence for over 13 years.  Love is eternal...God is eternal...God IS love...and "Love never fails". (how my husband always signed his cards and notes to me) I Corinthians 13: 8a

So what I am experiencing is all about love, how God loves us and how He has blessed me to be able to love others and miss their presence. How He has blessed me to feel with compassion for others that are fresh on a journey of living without the presence of a loved one. How He has blessed me to be able to turn my eyes upon Him and see HIS beauty and know without a shadow of a doubt that He knows what I am feeling at any given moment and does not judge me, but takes my hand and walks with me. He lifts my head, wipes my tears and assures me that I am not alone, He will never leave me nor forsake me. He IS my Glory and the lifter of my head. Psalms 3:3

Pastor A. mentioned this old hymn a couple of weeks ago. Written by C. Austin Miles in 1913, but it still rings so true for me today. It was one of my mother's favorite hymns and I

can still hear her singing it in her light soprano voice when I as a child, sat beside her in the choir loft at St. John Methodist church in South Carolina so many years ago...

I come to the garden alone 
while the dew is still on the roses, 
and the voice I hear falling on my ear, 
the Son of God discloses. 


Refrain: 
And he walks with me, and he talks with me, 
and he tells me I am his own; 
and the joy we share as we tarry there, 
none other has ever known. 

He speaks, and the sound of his voice 
is so sweet the birds hush their singing, 
and the melody that he gave to me 
within my heart is ringing. 

Refrain: 
And he walks with me, and he talks with me, 
and he tells me I am his own; 
and the joy we share as we tarry there, none other has ever known. 

"It is good to give thanks to the Lord, and to sing praises to Your name, O Most High;
2 To declare Your loving kindness in the morning, and Your faithfulness every night..."
Psalms 92:1-2

Thank You Lord for your faithfulness and thank You Holy Spirit for reminding me that I have so much to be thankful for.  :-)