Letter to my Mom (repost from 2012)

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This was a blog post from Mother's Day 2012, I thought it is worth repeating...

 Dear Ma,
Well, another Mother’s day has rolled around; this is the 12th one without you.  But your passing from this life to eternity seems like yesterday sometimes. I miss you so much.  And it seems that the older I get, the more I understand you…does that make sense?

I passed by a mirror the other day and wow I could see you in me so much…your mannerisms and movements! If I am becoming even a fraction of the woman of grace that you are I am so thankful.  I know, I know…during my turbulent teenage years I wanted to be anything but my mother. But now Ma, I am so thankful that you hung on to me during those times. Me with my smart mouth and “always having to say the last word” self; you hung on to me, even when I’m sure I broke your heart a few times.  Thanks Ma…only a Mother’s love can do that.
I can think of a lot of things I’m sorry for; like the time I missed your 50th wedding Anniversary; and the time after Dad had passed, I should have had more compassion, instead of trying to rush you through your grief. And even the time I never got around to trimming your hair for you on one of my visits. But I know Ma you wouldn’t want me to feel guilty about any of that stuff, because not once  have you EVER made me feel guilty about anything while you were with us on earth. You only showed unconditional love.

You gave birth to me with God’s help on a hot day in July after you discovered my older brother had splattered mud on your clean laundry hanging on the clothes line! (I love when my brother tells me about that day).  And from that day on you have been the most excellent example of what a real woman should be; strong, smart, giving, loving, graceful, a cute dresser and on and on.  You taught me how to be a good wife, even the part about “in sickness and in health”, when I watched how you took care of Dad during his illness.  Who knew that I would be following in similar footsteps?  And you taught me how to be strong and resilient during times of sadness.
You Ma gave me the gift of humor and laughter!  Oh the times we’ve shared laughing so hard that I literally crawled on the floor, because I was laughing so hard I could not get up from the spot where I’d fallen! I still laugh out loud when I think of some of the things we laughed about and your gift of humor has spread from generation to generation.  Thanks Ma!

I won’t be sad this Mother’s Day, because I know you would not want me to be.  You would want me to be happy and enjoy the life God has given me. You always would say to me “Roni, enjoy every second of your life.” And that is what I now say to my son and daughter-in-love, “Enjoy! Enjoy!
Thanks Ma for being a wonderful mother to me, and I pray that somehow God will let you know how much I love and appreciate you.  I miss you like crazy, but know that one day we will see each other again and Oh! What a day that will be.

With much, much love,
Your middle daughter,
Roni

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