I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.
I can still remember it as if it was yesterday. My son along with his family was leaving to return to their home. This was about a month after my husband had died. I am eternally grateful of how my son and his dear wife were so helpful in taking care of all the arrangements for the funeral. I was in a fog and still cannot remember certain things about that time. But I remember clearly the day that they left, because it was one of the saddest days in my life. As I watched them leave, knowing full well that this was necessary, they had already given a whole month to be there for me. I still felt that I had no idea of what would become of me.
The only way that I can describe it is that I felt as if I would disappear from the earth never to be seen or heard of again. I guess that I felt swallowed up in grief. You see I had never really been alone before. I grew up with 4 siblings, Mom and Dad. While in college I had 2 roommates. Then when I married at a young age I had my husband and son. At no time had I ever lived alone.
After they left, I turned and entered the house and said to the Lord “It’s just You and me.” Now fast-forward over 6 years to now. It has been quite a journey; I’ve had my “firsts’ with lots of things. For instance my first blackout when all electricity went out in my neighborhood around 2:00 AM…scary! Or when my alarm went off in the middle of the night…scarier! I could go on and on but I was just thinking how good the Lord has been to me! Things that I thought I could never do, He has been with me every step of the way. Sure there were times when I felt like I could not go on, but that’s when I think of the scripture above, and I believe I AM seeing the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Sometimes I am in awe of how far He has brought me.
The Lord and I have become very close; in fact I’m really not alone, because He is with me ALWAYS!