Sunday, June 1, 2008

Be still...

Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!
Psalms 46:10

I’m a “thinker” (someone who is always trying to analyze an action, deed or person). While it has it good points, I know that I have missed many moments of plain ‘ol fun because I was too busy trying to figure it out. How many times have my late husband, co-workers and friends tried to surprise me and I would not let them because I was too busy trying to “figure” it all out! Basically I don’t like surprises and am a person that likes to be prepared. Like the time I took my car to the mechanic and asked him could he fix a certain thing on my car that I thought was soon due for maintenance. After reluctantly checking it he looked at me and said “M’am I can’t fix it unless it broken.” He then gave me a smile with pity in his eyes, as if to say “Lady you’re crazy!”

I guess in my own pityful, tired little way I think that I can avoid life's surprises by "headin' them off at the pass". And from someone (me) that has had a whole lot of surprises in this life I should know better!

For the past couple of years I have felt strongly that the Lord was calling me to sit and learn from Him. Every since my salvation experience about 30 years ago, from the very beginning I was busy doing what I considered for the Lord. So, so busy. Working in the prison ministry, which I loved! Visiting nursing homes, detention homes and individual homes. Involvement in music ministry, which included singing not only in various churches, musical productions, but street corners and lots and lots of funerals and weddings. I was so committed to what I called “serving the Lord” that I missed my parent’s (that are now both deceased) 50th Wedding anniversary! Oh how sorry I am about that! But at the time I was involved in an Easter Musical production and though we saw many hundreds maybe thousands pray and accept the Lord as Savior and become Christians, it cannot excuse my absence at a celebration for the two people that loved me more than anyone on this earth.

After all that busy-ness and running for the Lord, I am learning to relax and enjoy Him. It is not easy sometimes though, since I like being prepared, sometimes I feel like I don’t know what is happening one minute from the next. I am learning to live one day at a time, sometimes one minute at a time. And though it may seem that I am not doing anything for the Lord, in fact I feel closer to Him than I ever have all these years. I know that I have a purpose in this life and though each season may be different, I desire to walk in His will. Sometimes I want answers right then, “Lord, what do I do now?” “Where do I go now?” But I have to learn how to really let go and release it all to Him.

Sometimes you can’t always be prepared, you just have to be STILL and KNOW that He is God!

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