Thursday, May 14, 2009

Yet you are enthroned as the Holy One; you are the praise of Israel. In You our fathers put their trust; they trusted and You delivered them. They cried to You and were saved; in You they trusted and were not disappointed.
Psalms 22:3-5

“You’ll never be disappointed”. That’s what I heard in my heart today as I talked to the Lord.

Rejection and disappointment are two awful emotional feelings. Rejection can have long lasting effects on a person’s life. And if there is no healing there, the person can continuously carry that feeling of not being accepted or wanted. Then comes the disappointment, and feelings of not ever being able to “fit in”. The enemy of our souls can have a heyday with this weakness…if he is allow to.

I have had my share of rejection and disappointments. Note* as I share this please know that I am not whining, but being transparent. So don't try to play "Dr. Phil"...I'm just being real. :)

As far back as my early childhood, growing up a middle child (not the oldest and not the youngest), I did not know where exactly I fit in. Even in school, because I liked to “dress up” and did not hang with the rowdy group, I was an outcast with the popular kids, called teacher’s pet and often threatened by the school bullies. And as an adult ,I knew that my parents loved me,but I often thought that I was a disappointment to them, because of some choices that I made along the way.

After becoming a Christian, the Lord healed me of a lot of emotional hurts, but it is an ongoing process. This morning as I was worshipping the Lord and thanking Him for bringing me through so many things I was reminded of a particular disappointment that I had. The feelings of rejection came rushing back in like a tsunami. The tears flowed as I remembered the hurt and disappointment and I even wondered if God had forgotten me during that time. It was then that I heard His still small voice speaking to me in the depths of that pain as only He can do. You see, no one else in this ole world knows how or what you feel like our God, He knows every hurt, every rejection, and Jesus came to prove it. He spoke to me in the quietness of my spirit and said “ I will NEVER disappoint you…man will…but I will NEVER disappoint me”.

What more can I say? I must trust Him with my pain, my hurts, and my rejection. I can no longer strive to “fit in”. I must keep my hand in His as I walk this journey. I must be whom He created me to be, even if no one else understands…He does. To God be the Glory!

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