Mom, I miss you...
"Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, and into His courts with praise: be thankful unto Him, and bless His name." Psalms 100:4
Today is my late Mom's birthday, and if you don't know by now writing is cathartic to me; it actually does give psychological relief when I can put down on paper what I am feeling...well that and thrifting 😊 but that's for another post. 😊
I was thinking how blessed I am having a Mom like her. Now don't get me wrong she was not what we surmise as being perfect, none of us are, ESPECIALLY me and My Mom would be the first to say that about herself...but to me she was very perfect. Now that I am older, I appreciate her even more, in fact the saying "I'm becoming my mother" is so true, particularly when I pass by a mirror and see not only the physical resemblances but the gestures too! lol
I have my regrets of course that I did not show her that I appreciated her more, that I gave her my terrible, turbulent, teenage years, that I did not have more patience and sympathy when she was grieving my Dad when he passed (I understand more clearer now Mom)...that I did not say "I love you" more. Those regrets will always be with me, but there is one thing that sustains me and keeps me above the waters of regret that try to drown me from time to time, and that is, my Mom loved me. I know that she loved me because she never forsook me, even when I rebelled and thought I knew more than her; My Mom nurtured me, she was all the things that a Mother should be for their children, she was the black June Cleaver. My Mom took care of me in sickness and in health, she was always there for me, through thick and thin, even in my rebellion.
She was the shining example of what Yahuah (God) created her to be..a mother. I hold precious the phone calls we had every Saturday morning. She would answer sometimes with sleep still in her voice and when I would ask "Oh! did I wake you up?' she would always go out of her way to make me not feel that I actually had by saying "No, No, is everything alright?", then after being assured that I was ok, we would talk for sometimes 2 hours ending with "I love you." I really miss that...
So...I am thankful, I am thankful because I miss her, sounds crazy? Well, as a wise person once said "You never miss something unless it was good, 'cause if it wasn't good you wouldn't miss it." I am thankful that Yah (God) blessed me with a beyond good Mom, one who loved me and taught me about Him and sowed the seeds of His Holy Word into me by reading me Bible stories and most importantly by her example. So thank you, thank you to my sweet Momma and to Yah (God) for His many blessings!
Today is my late Mom's birthday, and if you don't know by now writing is cathartic to me; it actually does give psychological relief when I can put down on paper what I am feeling...well that and thrifting 😊 but that's for another post. 😊
I was thinking how blessed I am having a Mom like her. Now don't get me wrong she was not what we surmise as being perfect, none of us are, ESPECIALLY me and My Mom would be the first to say that about herself...but to me she was very perfect. Now that I am older, I appreciate her even more, in fact the saying "I'm becoming my mother" is so true, particularly when I pass by a mirror and see not only the physical resemblances but the gestures too! lol
I have my regrets of course that I did not show her that I appreciated her more, that I gave her my terrible, turbulent, teenage years, that I did not have more patience and sympathy when she was grieving my Dad when he passed (I understand more clearer now Mom)...that I did not say "I love you" more. Those regrets will always be with me, but there is one thing that sustains me and keeps me above the waters of regret that try to drown me from time to time, and that is, my Mom loved me. I know that she loved me because she never forsook me, even when I rebelled and thought I knew more than her; My Mom nurtured me, she was all the things that a Mother should be for their children, she was the black June Cleaver. My Mom took care of me in sickness and in health, she was always there for me, through thick and thin, even in my rebellion.
She was the shining example of what Yahuah (God) created her to be..a mother. I hold precious the phone calls we had every Saturday morning. She would answer sometimes with sleep still in her voice and when I would ask "Oh! did I wake you up?' she would always go out of her way to make me not feel that I actually had by saying "No, No, is everything alright?", then after being assured that I was ok, we would talk for sometimes 2 hours ending with "I love you." I really miss that...
So...I am thankful, I am thankful because I miss her, sounds crazy? Well, as a wise person once said "You never miss something unless it was good, 'cause if it wasn't good you wouldn't miss it." I am thankful that Yah (God) blessed me with a beyond good Mom, one who loved me and taught me about Him and sowed the seeds of His Holy Word into me by reading me Bible stories and most importantly by her example. So thank you, thank you to my sweet Momma and to Yah (God) for His many blessings!
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