Broken...
I have a confession...yesterday was a "gray" day for me. Gray meaning it was a somber day, a sobering day, a day of introspection and sorrow.
Sometimes we think we are handling things ok, but then you get slammed by deep reality. You can do one of two things, hopefully I chose the best, I submitted it to Yah (God) and He began the healing process.
It began when I read the results of the second autopsy done on George Floyd, all of you should be familiar with the name of the man that is now known as recently being murdered by a policeman. Before you turn me off and say "All policeman are not like that" hear me when I say that I know this and this is not about policemen, this is about hate. Growing up in the south during segregation and the Civil rights movement, I have seen and experienced racism first hand. I know what it is like to be called ugly names, have to drink at a separate water fountain and use a separate bathroom with the sign "Colored" or not have public facilities at all. I know what it is like to attend a theatre, pay the same amount of money as whites, yet having to sit up in the balcony in far less comfortable conditions. I know what it is like to see little children of your same age call your mother by her first name. I know what it is like to be afraid to go into certain stores or go to certain parts of town not knowing if you would be told to leave or chased out. I could go on but this was during all my childhood and young adult life. My first year of college, the preceding semester three black men were killed in town by angry white men because the young men were marching for desegregation, the opportunity to sit down at the same lunch counter as whites. You get the picture...
Saying all that to say that I have seen hate, I have seen its ugly glare from cold overtly condescending eyes and I have seen it behind covertly fake smiles and dismissive attitudes. I can recognize it well, but... When I read how George Floyd died, it broke me. When I read how he was unmercifully held down while handcuffed, how his neck and spine were held down in such a way that his diaphragm was restricted to expand fully and when he did catch a breath he cried for mercy. How he cried for them to let him breathe, how he cried out for his deceased mother...it broke me. This is nothing new, it is a part of the history of this country...but this broke me...
I saw hate at a whole new level. This same police officer and the officers that also pressed down on this handcuffed man, if they saw someone do this to one of their police dogs, they would've arrested them for cruelty to animals and yet...they did this to a human being, seemingly with no remorse or care...that is pure evil. It showed me that hatred and evil is very bold and brazen and that I can no longer try to make sense of something so destructive and intolerable. I won't tolerate the remarks made by people that refuse to accept the facts of acts such has been happening for hundreds of years to my people. Those who blow it off with statements like "If you don't like it here, then leave." or "I wasn't a slave owner so don't blame me." Yah has given me His love for all people, but He has also given me a new resolve, determination and boldness to speak the Truth.
Sometimes in order for a bone to be healed, it must be broken and reset. I was broken in my spirit by these recent events, but Yah (God) is "resetting" me to be stronger and bolder in Him. Most importantly He is close to me in this whole process. To Him be All Glory and Praise!
It began when I read the results of the second autopsy done on George Floyd, all of you should be familiar with the name of the man that is now known as recently being murdered by a policeman. Before you turn me off and say "All policeman are not like that" hear me when I say that I know this and this is not about policemen, this is about hate. Growing up in the south during segregation and the Civil rights movement, I have seen and experienced racism first hand. I know what it is like to be called ugly names, have to drink at a separate water fountain and use a separate bathroom with the sign "Colored" or not have public facilities at all. I know what it is like to attend a theatre, pay the same amount of money as whites, yet having to sit up in the balcony in far less comfortable conditions. I know what it is like to see little children of your same age call your mother by her first name. I know what it is like to be afraid to go into certain stores or go to certain parts of town not knowing if you would be told to leave or chased out. I could go on but this was during all my childhood and young adult life. My first year of college, the preceding semester three black men were killed in town by angry white men because the young men were marching for desegregation, the opportunity to sit down at the same lunch counter as whites. You get the picture...
Saying all that to say that I have seen hate, I have seen its ugly glare from cold overtly condescending eyes and I have seen it behind covertly fake smiles and dismissive attitudes. I can recognize it well, but... When I read how George Floyd died, it broke me. When I read how he was unmercifully held down while handcuffed, how his neck and spine were held down in such a way that his diaphragm was restricted to expand fully and when he did catch a breath he cried for mercy. How he cried for them to let him breathe, how he cried out for his deceased mother...it broke me. This is nothing new, it is a part of the history of this country...but this broke me...
I saw hate at a whole new level. This same police officer and the officers that also pressed down on this handcuffed man, if they saw someone do this to one of their police dogs, they would've arrested them for cruelty to animals and yet...they did this to a human being, seemingly with no remorse or care...that is pure evil. It showed me that hatred and evil is very bold and brazen and that I can no longer try to make sense of something so destructive and intolerable. I won't tolerate the remarks made by people that refuse to accept the facts of acts such has been happening for hundreds of years to my people. Those who blow it off with statements like "If you don't like it here, then leave." or "I wasn't a slave owner so don't blame me." Yah has given me His love for all people, but He has also given me a new resolve, determination and boldness to speak the Truth.
Sometimes in order for a bone to be healed, it must be broken and reset. I was broken in my spirit by these recent events, but Yah (God) is "resetting" me to be stronger and bolder in Him. Most importantly He is close to me in this whole process. To Him be All Glory and Praise!
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