Running on fumes...
I have this practice in recent months that as soon as my car's gas tank gets down about a quarter, I make sure to refill. My thinking is that in case there's a sudden shortage on gas and all the stations are shut down, I will have at least a near full tank. The
"pandemic" has expanded my ways of thinking about being prepared.
However, as carefully as I try to monitor my car's gas tank, sometimes I can get careless with my spiritual tank. I confess that there have been times when my "tank" has been almost on empty, whether it is because of the cares of life, stress both emotional and physical, or just plain laziness...I KNOW when I am getting near that empty sign and the dangers that comes with it.
I can tell when I'm operating on spiritual "fumes", when it becomes too easy to respond in similar manner to a rude person. Yep, like when that person cuts you off in traffic and you respond by blowing your horn long and hard along with a few degrading words (I don't cuss but my words are just as cutting)...OR if someone says something smart... oh boy is it so VERY easy to give them an even smarter answer back. I can also tell when I'm on low when my patience and tolerance are almost non existent. Yep, at those times the attitude "chip" that is on my shoulder is so big it's more like a boulder!
During those times for me there is no joy, no peace, no contentment. The fact is that I have no one to blame but myself. I have allowed myself to let my relationship with Yah (God) go unattended, by not spending my alone time with Him. I have allowed myself not to find that "Place" and talk to Him, read His Word and just sit in His presence; when those times have not become priority. I have allowed the trials and pride of life to supersede the importance of making Him first and for HIM to sit on the throne of my heart.
I am being totally transparent when I say that I DO have those times and its not pretty. I make no excuses because there are none. You may ask "Well, where is that "place" to find Him?" The answer is, that "place" is you...wherever YOU are is the place to find Him and talk to Him. I am amazed at His love for me, because each time that I fail, I come running back in repentance and He is always there to grab me up and embrace me once again.
These last 7 or so months has exposed, revealed and instigated a lot of things and two of them have been our actions and reactions, if there is one good thing out of this mess, it is that we are getting a real opportunity to see who we really are. That is why we have to continually keep coming to the Source of our salvation, peace, joy, strength and life itself to be filled over and over again. We cannot afford to be near "empty", so I pray that you will join me in asking Yah (God) to fill us each day with HIS goodness. He is a Source that will NEVER run out. May we always remember the road that runs back to His arms.
"For He satisfies the longing soul, And fills the hungry soul with goodness." Psalms 107:9